This post is a response to a question posed in its complete format: “Is it okay to not be okay after all people have put you through like the damage has been done?”

Either yes or no, depending upon how one interprets the perspective behind this question.

It’s not okay that you’re not okay, but it’s not okay because of anything you need to be ashamed of. It’s not okay that people have done what they have done to make you not okay.

You don’t need permission to be not okay in the same way you don’t need permission to eat when you’re hungry or use a bathroom when you have to go.

Being not okay with damage done to you is a natural consequence of the damage.

No one escapes being damaged to feel okay, no matter how much they try to shake it off.

Damage is damage.

If your car gets a punctured tire and is flat, you can’t ignore that damage without doing more damage to your car.

Your body and mind are the same.

If you can’t heal and you try to ignore the damage done to you, you will damage yourself and others along with you.

Your highest priority should be to heal, just as if you’ve broken a leg and need to give your bones time to mend.

The mind is no different.

You can’t continue like nothing happened.

It’s not okay that you’re not okay; you need to give yourself time to become okay again.

It’s also not okay for someone else to make you feel like something is wrong with you for needing time and space to heal from your damage.

If that’s the expectation you are facing and what prompted your question, then be aware that such an expectation by others only harms you more.

It’s called victim-shaming, and it’s a heinous attitude and behaviour indulged in by broken people who are not okay themselves. They never took the time to heal, and because of that, they don’t know how to respond to you by doing you damage.

It’s evil behaviour that you should not not tolerate. It would help if you told them that it’s not okay to make you feel not okay for not being okay.

Okay?