Toxic Masculinity

Was there a defining moment that led you to become a feminist?

This post is a response to a question posed in its complete format: “Was there a defining moment that led you to become a feminist, and if so, what was it?”

Before I begin with my answer to this question, I’d like to include a quote from Dr. Ernest Adams’ (https://www.quora.com/profile/Ernest-1329/)  — answer to a question defining feminism  —  (https://www.quora.com/What-is-a-feminist-exactly-I-have-never-been-able-to-understand-exactly-what-that-entails-The-terms-definition-seems-to-float-somewhere-between-reality-and-personal-definition-of-reality-or-just-plain-ridiculousness/answer/Ernest-1329):

Feminism seeks to obtain equal rights, privileges and opportunities for women; to improve their lives and living conditions, particularly with respect to problems that are unique to them; to produce equal outcomes of these policies such that they have similar levels of power, wealth, influence and respect to those enjoyed by men; and to change social attitudes that are hostile, derogatory, oppressive, or tend to interfere with any of the foregoing.

The funny thing about my upbringing is that I should have turned out to be a misogynist.

All the elements were there.

Under-Educated Community? — Check

The average education in the town of about seventy thousand I grew up in was grade nine. The primary employers in the area were forest industry operations. One could afford a comfortable lifestyle with a mortgage and two-point-five kids on a mind-numbing daily routine.

Toxic Masculinity Within My Family and Throughout My Community? — Check

“Be a man” was a daily slogan one would hear everywhere in almost every context, but it wasn’t in the refuge of my art class where one of my instructors was flaming, but I didn’t realize it then. Hell, I didn’t realize that about him until I visited the ol’ stomping grounds years after graduation, and I wondered why it seemed he was lusting after me.

Practically everywhere else, though, including my own family, there was no shortage of advice on how to put women in their place and no shortage of shame hurled in one’s direction if they showed “weak emotions” like compassion.

A Panoply of Bigotries Everywhere? — Check

There was always a reason to crap on different genders, different skin colours, different hairstyles, different clothing styles. One acquaintance who listened to the Beach Boys morning, day, and night would give you a sideways glance if you listened to anything else. From his perspective, something was wrong with you if you liked Reggae.

Manly Men Doing Manly Things Everywhere? — Check

If you couldn’t name every part in your car while stripping it down to nuts and bolts while doing your oil change and then reassembling it for fun, there was something wrong with you. You weren’t a man if you couldn’t work on your vehicle at minus twenty below weather.

Hanging Out Car Windows While Wolf-Whistling at Every Woman Walking Down the Street? — Check.

Boys believed the girls went for that sort of behaviour and were butch if they didn’t. Even the girls in that environment were more masculine than any male in the school band, and they could drink one dozen of them under the table without a bathroom break.

Somehow, though, I never thought of women as either inferior or superior or anything beyond being just people. They smelled nicer, and some could appreciate sensitivity, but you had to be careful who you displayed it to because most would think something was wrong with you.

I didn’t realize I was a feminist until well past my thirties. I still don’t think about it unless it comes up in conversation, and I have to remember that I somehow reacted against the toxic masculinity in ways that made me one.

I think that’s one of the things that bullies don’t quite get. Every person they bully in life learns to hate everything they embody, and so growing up in an environment rife with toxic masculinity has taught me to hate machismo on such a level that I am now in a position of putting my life at risk with the police because they have bullied me to such a degree that I’m barely hanging onto my life by a thread. I’ve been adamant in conveying to them that I will not shut up and die quietly so as not to disturb their reverie because I am only beginning to rage against their destruction of my light publicly.

Feminism is equality, and even though men take the lion’s share of the blame for abuses, it doesn’t mean all are guilty of being abusive bullies. Women can also be assholes on levels equal to men as well.

Feminism simply asserts that we are all people, while the idiots on social media who never shut up about the evils of feminism are screaming their toxicity to the world. They are like MAGAts wearing warning labels in the form of red caps to identify themselves as toxic. Every male who whines about feminism is admitting to the world that they’re a toxic misogynist.

As prevalent as misogyny may still seem to be, it gives me hope to see popular media represent changes in society that remind me how glacial our social evolution is. It may seem imperceptible from the perspective of an individual life. Still, we are maturing as a species — no matter how much temporary regressions of our values may challenge our ability to maintain hope for a better future.

What do you think about the charity ‘Tate Pledge’?

This post is a response to a question initially posed on Quora, and can also be accessed via “https://www.quora.com/What-do-you-think-about-the-charity-Tate-Pledge/answer/Antonio-Amaral-1“

I had to double-take on this question. “Tate Pledge”? … WTF?
Is this a reference to Andrew Tate?
Sure enough… it is!

Holy 30 Pieces of Silver, Batman!!!

I want to ignore this question from this querent because I already feel slimy. However, I think it would be a disservice to those who still can’t understand the difference between an authentic human being and the lowest of predatory and parasitic scum.

It breaks my heart that people can see this:

… and yet, NOT see it for what it is.

The branding alone screams it’s a scam. For someone desperate to repair their reputation on the level of optics, even if he doesn’t care about substance, he’s being quite moronic to dress up like a pimp-gangster and peddle himself as a caring member of a community he earnestly wishes to contribute positively toward.

Take a moment to reflect upon the title, “The Pledge of the Tate.” That’s like someone speaking about themselves in the third person while elevating their image of that person to mythical status. He’s not “just Andrew Tate,” one of the dozens of other “Andrew Tates on the planet,” but “THE TATE.” There is no need for “Andrew” because that softens the hammer of the single vowel “TATE” a bit too much for his ego to consider it worthy of inclusion in his pledge title. He is a legend in his imagination — even after being busted for sex trafficking — for dehumanizing women as vessels for his amusement.

This egotistically bloated idiot is so full of himself that he has no clue that his presentation already turns off anyone who isn’t a naive gumba incel with machismo wannabe fantasies.

What’s worse is the amount of digging to determine the legitimacy of this scam requires a whole bunch of seconds that almost add up to one full minute of research effort to dig up how much he’s willing to sink into the depths of inhuman psychopathy.

Since you asked me what I think of this, then this is what I think of this:

These are examples of psychopathic predators in our society whose aspirations for justifying their pampered existence rely on the parasitic strategy of bottom-feeding by preying on the naive sentiments of the most vulnerable in society.

These monsters should be rotting behind bars, not roaming free to wreak more havoc while destroying lives in their wake.

After having a look at your profile, Keith, it seems rather clear from a cursory glance why you might be interested in following the antics of a disgusting example of the worst of humanity, but that’s because you present yourself as someone desperate to assert your individuality without actually developing the critical thinking skills to understand what that means enough to make it manifest.

You seem drawn toward stereotypes of masculinity to promote your image, and I’m sure that works within a limited demographic, but that’s also why you’re doomed to perpetual bottom-feeding for the rest of your life.

This mindset is built upon the cynical quicksand of a misanthropic take on fellow humans with whom one wishes to engage in a profit-generating venture. There is no motivation for a real connection being sought, nor solutions or assistance offered that benefits others. It’s an egocentric view of the world that regards relationships as forgettably transactional on the most superficial levels: “Pay attention to meeeee!!!! — and give me money while you’re at it.”

This leads me to one of my biggest complaints with our currently toxic and religious-like fervour of regard toward the economic system we call “Capitalism.”

Our capitalist system of today breeds misanthropy in a race to the bottom while celebrating the most superficial of parasitic characteristics of humanity.

We were warned at the outset by great thinkers from history that we would be struggling through the late stages of a corrupted system and have now arrived at their predicted destination.

What we once championed as the fertile ground of innovation has become a stale mockery within a puerile homogeneity.

What matters is expedience over substance. The why of what we do with our lives has been distilled into achieving above minimal survival at the expense of relationship depth and community.

The sad consequence of prioritizing expedience over substance is that we breed out the requisite sensitivities toward nuance that would immediately understand that orange abomination of a homepage with Rush Limpballs overtones is a front for yet another scam by an, at best, ethically challenged sociopath.

Lacking the cultivated sensitivity required to interpret nuance correctly exposes people to con artists who capitalize on personal insecurities that have been conditioned to revere toxic role models in a sub-culture characterized by Stockholm Syndrome cases.

The odds are excellent that anyone who can interpret anything positive within the embodiment of toxic masculinity has been a victim of it their entire lives and was broken by it in childhood.

Your profile screams that you’ve been more of a victim of it than a perpetrator, but you can’t seem to extricate yourself from this toxic cognitive prison. I can see that you believe humour is how you view your access to success, and I commend you for trying to be charismatic in such a way.

Making an impression in this world is tough, primarily if one seeks to be liked, if not admired. We need that kind of reinforcement to survive. It’s an essential component within Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

Belongingness is right up there and wedged between basic physical and psychological survival. The trouble is the choice of role models one makes in one’s efforts to achieve what one aspires to.

It’s easy to see from your profile that you’re not a troll so broken as to define your existence through childish provocation, and I suppose that’s why I felt compelled to provide an in-depth answer to your question. You seem to be trying, and you deserve credit for that.

Questions like this one I’ve been answering and this one below:

…indicate to me that you’re picking your ideas from sources who are, at best, kludges, who cannot help but become toxic influences in your thinking processes. I’m not going to advocate dropping these idiots from your radar because you need to understand better where they’re coming from so that you can better triangulate your position in society. I highly recommend expanding your horizons by adding more nuanced and evolved thinkers to your information consumption efforts.

It’s easy to see by the rest of your questions that you have a sincere curiosity about the world and are not obsessed with toxic role models. I suppose that’s what gives me hope that you will rise above being swayed by or taken in by despicable monsters who present a fraudulent image of themselves to appeal to a toxic set of presumptions about personal identity that were cultivated within you by a dysfunctional society.

I wish you all the best of luck in your journey through this madhouse. I hope you improve your abilities to discern between substance and fraudulence while continuing to challenge yourself to rise above the antics of superficial idiots.

Cheerios.